I had a strange feeling of nostalgia a day or two ago for the early days of the pandemic, when everything was quiet and no one was sure what to do. I knew it was crazy to feel that way, so I went back and began reading through my journal entries from a year ago, confirming what I knew intellectually but was having a a hard time feeling in my gut—those days and weeks were awful, and I have no business feeling anything for them but disgust.