No one knows for sure who John Hickenlooper was, as the details of his existence fell out of collective memory ages ago. But scholars who have studied the few fragments that haven’t been lost to time say that he was most likely an older Caucasian man who enjoyed stammering complaints about socialism through a mouth chock-full of marbles.

I just dropped a piece of toast and it landed buttered side up.




This feels like in the movies, when there’s that scene of all the birds flying in the same direction, or the villagers finding that the river has run dry.